Why we need to destroy the man box - opinion piece 2
We live in a world of high criminality, wars, closed borders, where people commit suicide, where women and kids are kidnapped, raped, beaten and killed. All of these things have two things in common - they have been going on for ages, and they are committed by men. Now, for the first time ever, we are actually addressing these problems at their core, and science shows that they all begin in the way men are raised.
Tony Porter, an activist mostly famous for his efforts to end violence against women, launched the idea of the man box in his 2010 Ted talk “A call to men”. The man box is the idea that acknowledges the rules men are taught to live by from a very young age. Men and boys are raised to believe that women are inferior to men by at an early age being punished for showing behavior that they are taught is female, such as showing emotion, seeking love or doing things or dressing in ways that are not stereotypical manly.
This form of masculinity that boys are raised to adapt has existed for a long time, it is what we consider as normal, how we expect a real man to be like. But today, science shows that living by the rules that Tony summarized as the man box is a very unhealthy mindset that leads to all sorts of negative outcomes such as mental illness, drug addiction, violence against other men, women and children, unhealthy sexualities etc. This is presented by Viktoria Saxby in her book “The new man”. Viktoria’s book is an effort to explain to men what this unhealthy manly behavior is causing the people around them and their society - but maybe mostly: what it is causing themselves and their own life. In her book, Viktoria gives an alternative role for men to adapt, and presents the advantages that men will get by living by the rules of the new man.
Viktoria describes the idea of the new man as a possibility for men to show other emotions than just anger. By showing emotions the mental illness among both men and women will decrease and the amount of suicides among men would not be as high. By showing emotions men will establish stronger and healthier relationships with their partners and families, they will have more interesting and meaningful conversations, a better relationship with their kids, they would apapt a more healthy relationship towards food and exercise, they would have better sex and even live longer. Happy families will decrease the risk of wounded children growing up to become a danger to society by their mental illness and different sorts of criminal behavior. Men who are allowed to step out of the stereotype of what a man should look like or be like are more creative which is good not only for the quality of their mindset and lifestyle, but also for businesses and the economy. Men who do not identify themselves with the stereotypical version of how a real man should be, are not threatened by women and are more likely to hire and promote women in businesses and to try new and different styles and ways of working and leading, that previously have been considered to be female ways. When companies consist of an equal amount of women and men, especially with different ethnicities, ages, sexualities etc, they perform a better job and earn more money which benefits both that company and also the entire economy. Men who have a healthier relationship towards themselves are not as reluctant towards strangers and people who do not look like them, this will create happier and more open societies where violence, drastic actions such as conflicts, wars and closed borders is not always the answer.
Sources:
Saxby, Viktoria. (2019). The new man - on boys, men and the end of the battle of the genders. Stockholm: Pagina förlag.
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